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Which three of the following will affect your stopping distance? |
| A brick wall. | Not having long enough legs to reach the pedals. | ||
| Plunging off a cliff. | Total brake failure. | ||
| Running into the car in front. |
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A basic rule when driving on a motor way is? |
| Turn the radio up. | Have a few alcoholic drinks as it is a long way to the next pub. | ||
| Drive at a speed that is likely to cause congestion. | |||
| Never be too sure what lane to use. |
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Vehicle excise duty is often called the "Road Tax" or "The Tax Disc". You must |
| Avoid paying for it as long as possible. | Display it proudly as it is the first one you've bought in ten years. | ||
| If caught with out it say it is in the post. | |||
| Not have it if you are not insured. |
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Your tyre burst while you are driving. Which TWO things should you do? |
| Make sure you're not driving a Robin Reliant. | Start swearing because you have left the spare at home. | ||
| Continue as you still have three good tyres. | Close your eyes and pray. | ||
| Put your head between your legs and kiss your ass good bye. |
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You are testing your suspension. You notice your vehicle keeps bouncing when you press down on the front wing. What does this mean? |
| You have parked on a bouncy castle. | It's going to cost a fortune to fix it. | ||
| The car has just rolled on to your foot. | How am I supposed to know I'm not a mechanic. | ||
| Some one is bonking on the back seat. |
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At night you see a pedestrian wearing reflective clothing and carrying a bright red light. What does this mean? |
| ET has landed. | They are trying to lure cars on to the rocks. | ||
| ET is going home. | |||
| The pedestrians hand is on fire. |
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Which three are suitable restraints for a child under three years? |
| Handcuffs. | Blue Tak. | ||
| A clip round the ear. | A straight jacket. | ||
| Rope. | Super glue. |
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A friend wants to teach you to drive. They must. |
| Have a car. | Really really like you. | ||
| Be mad. | |||
| Be some one you don't know. |
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To drive on the road learners MUST. |
| Have a car. | Be mad. | ||
| Rich parents if under 22 years old. | |||
| Find a road. |
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Your vehicle has broken down on an automatic railway level crossing. What should you do first? |
| Make sure your insurance is fully comprehensive. | Quickly make a will. | ||
| Make the wife/husband stay with the car while you go for help. | |||
| Close you eyes and pray. |
| In daylight, an approaching motorcyclist is using a dipped headlight. Why? |
| He is wearing sunglasses and thinks it is night time. | He has switched it on and can't find the switch to turn it off. | ||
| He has just bought the bike and is making sure it works. | |||
| He is a right poser and wants everyone to look at him. |
| What action would you take when elderly people are crossing the road? |
| Sound your horn as they get in front of you to see how their hearts are. | Push them out of the way so you can cross first. | ||
| Shout loudly in case they are hard of hearing. | |||
| Look for a boy scout to hurry them along. |
| At night you are leaving a well lit motor way service area. What should you do? |
| Make sure you locked up and turned the lights off if you leave last. | Make sure you take the car. | ||
| Take a torch. | |||
| Keep your eyes closed until you have rejoined the motor way. |
| You are driving in fog. Why should you keep well back from the vehicle in front? |
| In case it's your wife and she might see you with your girl friend. | I don't know. I'm never going to drive in fog anyway. | ||
| In case it's your husband and he might see you with your boy friend. | |||
| So the car behind can run into you more easily. |
| Which four of these MUST be in good working order for your car to be roadworthy? |
| The cigarette lighter. | The passenger. | ||
| The driver. | The dip stick. | ||
| The radio. | The off side front wheel. |
| A suitcase falls from a car, but the driver does not stop. What should you do? |
| Grab the suitcase, hoping that it contains valuables. | Forget it. The last suitcase was full of clothes. | ||
| Get the suitcase and try to sell it back to the driver. | |||
| Try and sell the contents to your mates down at the pub. |
| Which one of the following if allowed to get low, could be dangerous. |
| An airplane out of control. | A reservoir. | ||
| Your bank balance. | |||
| A limbo dancers pole when on fire. |
| Before driving someone else's car, you should? |
| Learn how to hot wire the ignition. | Brush the broken glass off the drivers seat. | ||
| Look around to make sure your not on camera. | |||
| Crack the steering lock. |
| A properly serviced vehicle will be? |
| Very expensive. | Needing more repairs then you thought possible. | ||
| Ready in two days maybe, but ring anyway. | Very unusual. | ||
| Keeping the mechanic busy thinking of ways to rip you off. |
| You break down on a level crossing. What should you do. |
| Check the insurance policy. | Wonder if adrenaline really is brown. | ||
| Run like hell. | |||
| Pray. |
| In windy conditions you should? |
| Open all the windows. | Blame the dog. | ||
| Find the nearest toilet. | Blame the kids. | ||
| Stop eating baked beans. |
| What should you most be aware of when driving off? |
| Choosing the right club. | Having a secure tee. | ||
| Taking a good stance. | Making sure you've got the balls. | ||
| Knowing where the pin is. |
| How should you use the emergency telephone on a motorway? |
| Put you head into the kiosk to see if it is really dark inside. | Say "Hello I'm cold and the car has broken down". | ||
| Stay close to the carriageway to stretch the phone cable. | Say "I'll have a Big Mac and fries to go please". | ||
| Don't say anything but just make heavy breathing noises. |
| You cannot see clearly behind you when reversing. What should you do? |
| Take the blind fold off. | Forget it. It's easier going forward. | ||
| Clean the rear window. | |||
| Look out of the front window. |
| You are in your car and there is a lot of spray. What should you do? |
| Close the windows. | Wash the car. | ||
| Remember you are in the car wash and it's always like this. | |||
| Let someone else wash the car. |
| You are driving on an icy road. What gear should you be in? |
| Black tie and tails. | Fur coat, hat and gloves. | ||
| Pyjamas. | |||
| Beach wear. |
| There is an ice cream van parked on the road. What should you be most aware of? |
| Ice cream. | You can get a 99 for only £1.00, yes a 99. | ||
| Cold drinks. | That you actually remembered where you parked it. | ||
| High prices. |
| You are dazzled by headlights. What should you do? |
| Hope you're not recognized. | Tell your girl friend to turn the torch off. | ||
| Hope it wasn't your wife. | Move your car off of the runway. | ||
| Remember to find a quieter lay by. |
| To drive off safely you should? |
| Never play golf in the road. | Always use an iron or a wood, it really helps. | ||
| Keep your caddy behind you. | |||
| Shout "Four " even though you intend to take five strokes. |
| Who can use a Toucan Crossing? |
| One third of a six pack. | Does it really matter. | ||
| Two cans. | Birds riding bicycles. | ||
| Anyone just given the bird. |
| At night you see a person wearing reflective clothing. This means the person. |
| Is on double time, working for the council. | Is a police man about to stop you. | ||
| Has no fashion sense. | |||
| Is a real poser. |
| When can you leave the engine running? |
| When you are rich and can afford it. | If the girl friends husband is bigger then you. | ||
| During the bank raid. | If you have broken the key off in the ignition. | ||
| When someone else is paying for the petrol. |
| How does alcohol affect your driving? |
| You can't find the car. | You have to stay in the pub. | ||
| You can't find the door lock or the keys. | You spill most of it. | ||
| You keep falling over and never get to the car. |
| How should you load a trailer? |
| Keep your back straight and bend your legs. | Put it in on the roof rack of your car. | ||
| Never lift anything heavier then a pint. | |||
| Get your neighbour to do it. |
| When driving at night you should? |
| Only use a three wood. | Expect to lose at least ten golf balls. | ||
| Use a yellow ball. | |||
| Carry a torch. |